Its weird for a 27 year old guy to comment on life as if its over, but sometimes its hard to see what more is left to wait for. Its not me having a death wish its me trying to find a reason to live.
Ya sure the idealistic few say you have to get married, have kids, drive a vehicle [ya i dont know how to . . so what! . . let me see you make cinnamon rolls ;) ] . . .etc etc ... and ya its nice to imagine abt the hundreds of students i will try to change and fail . . (ya maybe a few successes here and there) . . .
The irony of this rant is i actually think i have a good life . . maybe even a full life . . i have seen and done things which lots of people havent . . ya sure there are people who have done more seen more but i guess comparison is not the name of the game. and to think this dialogue started with people not knowing what sesame street is.
The cliches roll on, but ya it is the simple things that you remember as you grow old . . its like i am having my own 'american beauty' moment daily . .(sesame street references to follow) the first time i was compared to oscar (not the film award for the unitiated) . . me being lost in a cross country race in school . . the bhel puri outside my first boarding school . .my principal saying 'have a ball' and me thinking he meant if i had a football . .etc etc
Now i guess the daily exposure (maybe not a good word but cant go back now . . . i try to let the words flow . .) to 18 year olds takes me back . . its funny how you look back and all you can see is others . .past and present included . . Present being the people who are repeating your mistakes and hoping they dont (students take notice) and the past being the people around you and how they reacted to the various situations in our life . .
So the musings get me back to the present . . the fact that we can be happy and sad at the same time, that your stomach can hurt and rumble with hunger at the same time, that you can be alone in a crowd and that a student can stump you with a doubt so dumb that you think you are in primary school and then you ask them a question you don’t even know the answer to . . Life goes on . .
keep it coming, but sorry to hear that uve started harassing kids with questions u dont know the answers to :P
ReplyDeleteSo... Is it a disappointment with all you have done from the time the light from the horizon struck your depth of the eye? Or is it just that the light of the horizon had never reached the depth of your eye?
ReplyDelete.... I argue against the former. It seems the light has just reached the depth of the eye which will bring out the intense creativity that was just diffused and lost within you. It is always calm before storm my friend. I sense the storm that can come out of you will be satisfy your thirst.
But...Whatever a man does in his lifetime is just a moment of life for this Conglomerate particulate matter. So don't dream of reaching the stars when you can reach only fireflies in the sky. It is after all a Moment of life.
I guess im waiting for the storm... and looking forward to the calm after.. like u said every moment is just that .. a moment
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